From a Person Who Doesn't Exist:
It's all about that hat, I tells ya.
This photo best shows off the
(And my sister's PhotoShop skills. Wokka, wokka.)
But how do I explain how
I'm underwater--with the hat!--in that picture?
This issue bothered me, haunted me. At times, drove me to the
depths of madness.
Then I thought...stop asking stupid questions, Crystal.
That the hat and I don't look wet is just part of the hat's
All I can say is, the starfish on the right got fresh with me.
Five feelers, you know. I feel victimized.
More importantly, where do I get a hat like
I confess, I'm coveting it.
Sister better keep an eye on this fabulous hat.
Razor wire around the hat box should do the trick.
I won't cross razor wire. She knows this.
|(Note to Self:
Purchase razorproof pants, jacket,
and thick leather gloves for future secret mission.
Unless...Sister rents Dobermans for home security. Dang! She'll probably think of it.
She is a worthy adversary.
Take raw steaks, just in case.)
Well, fudge. Mission plans
Momma taught us morals, after all.
"Don't B&E your sister's house,
no matter how
fabulous the possession she owns."
I remember Mom saying this specifically.
I won't snatch Sister's cool hat,
and she (probably) won't train Dobermans to go for my throat.
Not as long as I maintain a fair distance
from the current World's Most Fabulous Object.
She looks much better in the hat, and I accept that.
You might see that strategy train in a future story.
Have a super day from a
person who doesn't exist.
Eat organic for better health. And kiss Mother Earth by
recycling and repurposing.